July 28th, 2024
Hello everyone and welcome to my first blog. This is mainly just an excuse to recap my thoughts and pretend like I have some sort of understanding about the world. Just a quick preface, please excuse any typos as I'm typing this directly into my editor with no autocorrect or type checking. I originially wanted to start a neocities page a long time ago when I first watched a jerma let's play of hypnospace outlaw. I loved the designs and feel of the sites, and after a quick google search I discovered neocities. From there I wanted to create a page like I saw on the front page, but I don't really have any web development experience. I know a thing or two about game development but I have always avoided web development due to the constant complexity and many frameworks associated with it. I did, however, appreciate the simplicity of neocities. Even now I am happy that I don't have to mess with any fancy libraries, and am simply using HTML and CSS.
That was a few months ago, and cut to today I am actually working on this and just trying to put something together. So why now and not before? Well as you can probably tell by the shoddy state of the site at present (image attached) I do not have a history of web design or art, both of which are kind of important when dealing with things like website development. Now, however, I have that urge and need to be creative again. I usually work on stuff throughout my time, and in doing so I do not feel the need to create new projects and such. However, when I am deprived from doing creative things for a long enough time, I gain an intense draw to a new project. The project this time, of course, is this website. Why a website? Well I saw a video about the "personal web" or "indie web" as it is called, and I was reminded of my research in the past.
This was not my first choice for creative outlet, as I was thinking of starting a YouTube channel like I have in the past with the express purpose of just making things to feel like I'm actually getting stuff done. I still might do that, but for now this is fine enough for me. No matter what project I did, however, I knew I wanted it to be not corporate at all. I am adament in my hatred of corporate culture, and not only how it exploits the worker for their labor, but also sucks the soul out of things like art. It reduces everything to an easily digestible slop for other corporate people to engage with. I think often about how many businesses genuinely exist to benefit the consumer versus how many businesses exist just to benefit other businesses. How many people's lives are spent in grueling jobs just to benefit the bottom line of some other company with providing any benefit to anybody outside of that bubble? I don't know the answer, but I am trying my hardest not to end up as one of those aforementioned people.
So I guess you could say this site exists as my rage against the machine. As I head further and further into my life I have to start actually engaging with and participating in this machine more and more that I have benefitted from all my life. It's time for me to deposit my pound of flesh. This site exists not only as a distraction from this inevitability, but also as an act of rebellion against it all. The background of this site as of present (see above image for reference) is meant to represent not only stars in space, but of the communities that pop up around the internet here. Each individual dot is within its own individual space, uncaring and unhelpful to the system as a whole. In a world where every single CS student is creating a sleek and modern website in the newest framework that week, I thought it could be fun to just make a website where I use silly images I throw together and try to create something I actually would like to see more people create.
Of course, most people have to "go corporate" eventually. In actuality I do not possess the skills to make it as an independent creator in a field. I lack the drive and passion needed for that. It is also pretty unfair for me to criticize the system that has benefitted me above and beyond. My parents have provided me a stable and happy childhood, and now it's my turn to contribute to the world and such. The problem is, like I'm sure many people around my age are facing, is that 1. things are too expensive to be able to have a normal life, and 2. as a result of the first point I'm starting to lose faith in the system as a whole. I know essentially every generation feels this way as the enter the workforce and such, but if that's the case that just means that it's my turn to complain.
So yeah that's pretty much it, boiling it down this site is a way for me to express my creativity while spreading the message of hating corporatism (and in a more broad sense capitalism but that is a story for a later time). Anyway if anyone is actually reading this thank you for reading through this fully, but in truth this whole thing is meant more for me to be able to look back on this and read my thoughts at different points in time. Why is this a public website then? Well I believe that whenever people create something it is only human nature to want to share it with the world. I find it funny that I hope nobody finds this website but I am also putting it out for everyone to see.
